Do they count?

Have you ever opened your eyes in the morning, got out of bed, get dressed, the usual morning routine and then realize you don't know why you are awake for?

The constant flow of messages in your mind goes like this: "Shit! It's almost cut-off time to leave the house! Oh darn, I brought my pencil case out unintentionally on a non-school day!! F the train is so crowded. Oh f now I really missed my stop!" All this on-going one-way conversation goes on in my brain and I'm getting increasingly aware of my own internal vulgarity, even though I almost never verbalise them (okay except THAT one time when my foot suffered a wrenching, gut-twisting cramp, researchers claim that cursing can trick our mind into feeling less pain, and I do believe in science) Still, all these made me ponder if I am really a horrible person inside or that I simply enjoy a colorful vocabulary (love that one) even when society says that it is unlady-like and crude.

The thing that bugs me the most is, I don't even blink, my body doesn't reject those words out of my system.